Knowing when to let go

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When you fall in love there is that rush of adrenaline you experience. Everything about your better half excites you. You start dreaming about the happily ever after. At the start of most relationships, you never consider that it might end. During your happy phase, you become convinced that some higher power is involved and that it was meant to be. The longer it lasts, the more you invest in it.

You invest your time, emotion and energy in it. Most of all you invest your hopes and dreams. At some point you even start planning your future with that special someone. You picture your life 10 years in the future and you can’t see your life without them

As you live in this happy bubble you tend to overlook the red flags. You don’t notice the cancelled dates or the arguments over everything. Nothing is unfixable and even though it’s getting worse, you pretend to fix things and act like you’re still happy. Both of you are holding on, only because you’ve put too much effort into the relationship. You figure it would be harder to let go than stick it out.

Sticking it out might work in the long run, but sometimes it only brings years of suffering. So how do we know when to let go?

There’s a time for everything. Nothing lasts forever. At some point you need to realize this and figure out when it’s time to step back and end the relationship.

The person you’re with might be the right one, but only for that moment. It’s not sad or pathetic to figure out that their time in your life has elapsed and you need to move on. The real problem is when you hold on to someone who is wrong for you. Staying put and insisting it will work out in the end is how you end up married for 20 years with 5 kids and you still ask yourself why you’re with your spouse.

I know a couple who dated through high school and campus. They’re planning their wedding but both seem to be over the relationship. They have a child on the way but both seem happier apart than they do together. No one can figure out why they won’t quit and move on.

Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future. Sometimes you really want to move on but you can’t picture your life without that one person. You just need to sit and realize that some people were meant to be in your heart but not in your life. You can love them but you don’t have to stay with them. If the relationship seems toxic and makes you unhappy, it’s time to let go. If the relationship is the kind that turns you into a crazy person who is ready to chop heads then i’s time to pack your things and leave.

Wanting someone in your life does not mean you should have them. Let go, if you’re meant to be it will happen but you can’t force the situation. You can’t meet your one true love if you’re forever holding on to your past.

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