According to Nancy Van Pelt in her book “Love: a field guide for single adults†there are several steps in establishing a stable base for a lasting relationship. She advises that strong relationships must be paced over a long period of time where ‘getting to know you’ is the major theme.
1. Friendship
In this stage one gets to know each other in a non-romantic way while participating in social, recreational, spiritual and intellectual activities. Develop a strong friendship before romance is even considered.
2. Casual dating
Here a couple begins to emerge from a group.
3. Special dating
A growing emotional attachment between the two without really having a real commitment into a formal relationship.
4. Steady dating
During this stage one carefully evaluates each other to see if they can be more than just friends.
5. Pre-engagement
Work on your ability to communicate which is the single most important contributor to a stable and satisfying relationship.
6. Formal engagement
Most spend this stage planning for a wedding but this stage should be spent having premarital counseling with a qualified counselor or spiritual leader.
7. Marriage
Marriage is a continuation of the romantic phase of the courtship process and should be characterized by affection, attention, respect, courtesy and fun together.
She gives a two year rule advising all couple to take two years to evaluate their readiness for marriage.