Love guide for single adults

According to Nancy Van Pelt in her book “Love: a field guide for single adults” there are several steps in establishing a stable base for a lasting relationship. She advises that strong relationships must be paced over a long period of time where ‘getting to know you’ is the major theme.

1. Friendship

In this stage one gets to know each other in a non-romantic way while participating in social, recreational, spiritual and intellectual activities. Develop a strong friendship before romance is even considered.

2. Casual dating

Here a couple begins to emerge from a group.

3. Special dating

A growing emotional attachment between the two without really having a real commitment into a formal relationship.

4. Steady dating

During this stage one carefully evaluates each other to see if they can be more than just friends.

5. Pre-engagement

Work on your ability to communicate which is the single most important contributor to a stable and satisfying relationship.

6. Formal engagement

Most spend this stage planning for a wedding but this stage should be spent having premarital counseling with a qualified counselor or spiritual leader.

7. Marriage

Marriage is a continuation of the romantic phase of the courtship process and should be characterized by affection, attention, respect, courtesy and fun together.

She gives a two year rule advising all couple to take two years to evaluate their readiness for marriage.