While most parents want the best for their children, there is concern that in an increasingly consumer-driven society such as ours, many parents might be raising an entitled child. The idea of entitlement in children has become a topic of concern for many, especially among educators who spend more time with the child than the parent. How would a parent know if their child is showing signs of entitlement, and what can a parent do to prevent it?
An entitled child strongly believes they deserve special treatment, privileges, or resources without putting in the effort ,or earning those privileges. These children may expect immediate gratification and have difficulty understanding the value of hard work, or delayed rewards.
There are different forms of entitlement in children. Most common are those who often are inconsiderate of others and will expect to get what they want when they want it, regardless of others’ needs, or circumstances.
Some children tend to take their parents’ or other people’s efforts for granted, often showing lack of gratitude for the hard work behind a gift, a service, or a favour. Some of the people who find themselves on the receiving end of an entitled child include the child’s teachers, support staff in a school setting, parents’ employees including drivers and house managers.
An entitled child might struggle with boundaries in the form of rules and limitations. There is the expectation to be exempted from them and may exhibit frustration (like in the case of Sabina) or defiance, hoping to have their way. They find it difficult to take “no” for an answer.
There is the belief that they are more deserving than others thus develop a sense of superiority and an inflated sense of self-worth.
As a parent, it is important to be aware of the following signs of entitlement,if your child constantly expresses dissatisfaction, or frustration when they do not get what they want. This may be expressed through complaints and constant whining about things like not getting a specific snack, or not getting permission to attend a friend’s birthday party.
If your child feels that their need should be met immediately, however unrealistic, then you might have an entitled child on your hands. If your child believes that rules do not apply to them, or expects privileges that other children do not get. For example, expecting to skip school at the slightest excuse, get more screen time, avoid chores, or take shortcuts without any consequences is a red flag.
If your child takes acts of service and kindness for granted, they will believe that these things are owed to them. If your child often feels that others should cater to their needs—whether it is sharing toys, taking turns, or helping them with tasks—this can be another indication of an entitled attitude. A child who does not consider the feelings, or needs of others might be overly focused on their own desires.
To prevent raising an entitled child set clear and consistent boundaries. These will help children learn and understand acceptable behaviour, including respect and consideration for others.
Teach them the value and discipline of hard work. If your child wants something special, work with them to create a plan for achieving it, teaching them that good things come to those who work for them.
Practice and model gratitude as a parent. This can instil a sense of appreciation in your child. Also, help your child to understand how their actions affect others. Teach them empathy through role-playing, storytelling and discussing real-life situations.
Encourage your child to wait for rewards. This will teach them patience and they will also develop a sense of fulfillment from earned rewards. Most important, be mindful of overindulgence as this can breed an entitled mindset. It is important to find a balance between showing love and providing for your child.
While raising children in today’s world can be a daunting task, especially with societal pressures that sometimes encourage immediate gratification and a sense of entitlement, parents have the responsibility to provide the right guidance and boundaries for their children.
Entitled children also evolve into adults who expect success without the necessary effort, or persistence, as well as struggle to navigate challenges or handle disappointments in life. If you find yourself questioning whether you are raising an entitled child, it is important to take a step back, assess your parenting approach, and make necessary adjustments to ensure your child learns the important life lessons that will help them thrive.
By Lucy Simiyu, School Psychologist at Crawford International School