Grace Msalame
My Dear Grace Msalame,
I write this to you regarding your article that somehow landed on my timeline and left me a little bit disturbed, one because you are a woman, a mother but most disturbing thing is that such ignorance would come from a lady of your calibre that has the good fortune of being exposed to the world and getting an education.
I have always been of the assumption that when you know better you speak better , think better and do better, truly to every rule their is an exception. So I was a little bit enraged at your callous remarks in the name of being different but am reminded by a quote I have come to love by Malcom X ” Don’t be too quick to condemn a person because he doesn’t do what you do or think what you think, there was once a time when you didn’t know what you know today” . This is true i didn’t know what I know now, when I was younger less exposed to the harshness of the world and under the care of my parents I also thought like you, that incidences are self inflicted , but I know better, so allow me to indulge you on why you are not only wrong but may have to one day read your blog with pity and shame.
[Read: How the #MyDressMyChoice protest went down]
See like many people in society when a woman is attacked, instead of helping her first then asking questions later and by helping I mean seeking justice, we condemn the woman, her dressing, her location her morals, by taking the stand you took you chose this path, I don’t even have to explain further why that woman that was stripped doesn’t need you to tell her what she should have done, what happened happened. See what you are trying to tell me is I should not raise my 14 year old brother to respect your two lovely girls, that is your job to teach them where to dress in a certain way so that men respect them, first of all in your haste to write a rebuttal on the the protest you missed the whole point, that it wasn’t so much about dressing than it was against the assertion of violence against women, to put it in black and white those women were not just stripped, they were sexually abused and harassed ( you can look this up later). See right now the cool mum in you assumes you have it all figured out, you will always protect your daughters from the cold cruel world, allow me to explain that once those little angels turn 14 you will lose control of who they hang around with what they wear when they are out and just like the 13 year old girls you said dress like twilight girls , your little sweet angels will dress the same way, because it’s fashion.
So Grace wouldn’t it be nice if my brother would come across them and not strip them or abuse them, look away when offended or offer them a coat to cover up? Wouldn’t you like that? Well that is what the society is trying to teach the men and if they are lost, the ground will someday have them and in shaa Allah men like my brother will be there to protect your daughter’s dignity choice and value as young women.
See in your haste to sound controversial and stating that the way a woman dresses will never be her choice you forget that it is her choice, like the dress you have , you forget that nothing we enjoy right now as women was handed to us, our mothers and grandmothers and sometimes the great men in our society fought for them, now darling I can see you enjoy drawing In a bandage dress, someone made this dream a reality. Even in the west there was a time there was a moral police going around measuring lengths of swimsuits and hemlines. Since you are too quick to assert that the protest won’t achieve much , let me again remind you it’s because women spike that single mother like you now enjoy a status in society. In the nineties you were regarded as a pariah even by the women folk, the elegance of a single mum was not handed to them, they stood up and raised great children and spoke as one and earned the respect. I am stating these fact so you appreciate the freedom that women before us have given you, enough for you to live as you live, dress as you dress, let’s be honest you are less covered than the women that were stripped yet you lend a voice saying their dressing has consequences. Because you feel so comfortable in your surrounding the house slave effect of , the whip will never be used in the house because the master likes me an refined . When I think of what you said I am filled with grief , not anger because you are a slave of a line of thoughts pushed on by society , you are content with so little in chains you can’t imagine what freedom is, you sound like the slaves that Harriet Tubman could never free because they never thought they were slaves. So allow us to raise our young brothers and sons for the good of your beautiful daughters. You really have beautiful girls I would hate for them to grow up in a society where they are disrespected.