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Belief in the importance of nonverbal communication is nothing new. “Do not watch a person’s mouth but his fists” Martin Luther (16th century religious reformer) said this and he was right.
There moments when we’re with someone we love or people we are close to and we don’t know if what we are saying is right, if we are on the right track when on a date or if that girl at the bar is interested. Some psychologists as well as researchers have said that nonverbal communication could be one of the many keys to read the subtle signs that others are sending out. It is the primitive system from which humans verbal ability evolved and was developed as was written by George Herbet Mead.
Here are a few things to look out for when trying to read someone’s feelings about you or in other words how to read social cues and know what someone feels for you.
Scenario 1
You are having a date and your trying so hard making conversation but she’s not laughing she keeps looking at the exit and you are wondering if everything is going okay.
In this case, you use the two easily identifiable cues for nonverbal communication. First, body gestures are an excellent cue to know if the other person is interested in what you’re saying or doing.
If they are engaged, you’ll find that the person’s body faces towards you. They will find a reason to reach out towards you, be it when you say something funny or when they want to get your attention. Touch is one of the indicators of interest. Also if their body is open, their arms will be on the table or on their sides rather then crossed together on their chest which indicates that they’re closed off to you or in defensive mode.
Second, facial cues through eye contact or a smile and a laugh. Negative cues can be hard to spot if you’re not quite observant. In the case presented above, they could look at the exit subtly without you noticing or sneer at something you’re saying.
Scenario 2
You’re in the club and seated at another table is one hot lady in a little number and she’s looking in your direction but you’re not quite sure she’s interested.
Here we use the dressing style cue whereby what color one wears and how much clothing they wear gives out cues about what they are interested in.
In Vienna, Austria, a study carried out of clothing worn by women who go to clubs showed that in certain groups of women the amount of skin displayed and pretense of sheer clothing showed motivation for sex and levels of sexual hormones. Not only this, the colors one wear could give insight into how ones mood is. For example the color blue is considered warm and inviting while red is seen as danger or passion.
While these cues can be used, they aren’t always on point but it can give one an idea of what the other person thinks or how they are responding to you.