Introverts and dating

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There is no straw heavy enough to break the camel’s back as the straw of ‘Is this a date or not?’ To those who are more forward than the rest of us, the words come out easily. To those who would rather let the mystery live on rather than bursting our fragile bubble of hope, the question lodges itself in your throat like a stubborn chicken bone that refuses to budge. Coffee at Java; It could be an innocent escapade between friends or (cue romantic violin music) a date. Now, to figure it out…

It is estimated that about 65% of society is extroverted. That is, 65% percent of society has no problem walking up to a random person or even someone they know and telling them, ‘Baby, be my Safaricom; even if other networks try to woo me, you will be my main connection.’ I don’t know why that line has a jeng’ accent, I really don’t. That is them; straightforward and direct. I admit it, life for them is simpler in that respect. But then, there is the 35%, of which I am very much a part of.

We, the 35% are not few but we can be easily overlooked, maybe because we don’t have the loudest laugh in the room and we keep a count on how many words we speak in a day. I don’t know, you tell me.

Introverts, we are called. The basic difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that the former are more introspective and attentive to internal thoughts, while the former are driven by sights and sounds-they crave sensory stimulation. These are two very different types of people and nothing amplifies the differences more than the dating scene.

Extroverts, the social butterflies that they are, flit from one relationship to the next while introverts tend to watch from the sidelines. Most people usually wonder what is ‘wrong’ with us and urge us to be more like them. As a member of the Introverted Society of Kenya (ISK), I would like to speak for this marginalized group and ask you to accept that we are not like you. No matter how much we try, we will not be happier living like you. It’s like trying to bleach your beautiful dark skin; a shade or two is believable, but anything more is just comically ridiculous.

On the other hand, dating begs a person to put themselves out there. This is second nature to extroverts but introverts actually have to work towards it. So you either swallow that bugger of a chicken bone and forget any thought of dating, or spit it out and let whatever may be, be.

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