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Break ups can be hard, for both parties. Some are simple with no drama while others are like an episode from Jerry Springer. Whatever the reason for the break up it is important that both parties are ready to move on. Post break up rules are meant to help both parties with the transition and even though they say rules are meant to be broken these ones should not.

1. Do not keep mementos

This depends on the extent of your relationship. If you have children or shared property then trying to avoid things that remind you of your relationship can be hard. If your relationship hasn’t reached that level yet then leaving behind mementos shouldn’t be so hard. These include photos, videos, songs, activities you loved doing together and the likes.

2. Take a break

Random rebounds can seem like a great idea when you’re hurting but they do not help you emotionally. We all feel that void after a break up and want it to be filled as soon as possible but taking a break from relationships might be the best medicine. This gives you time to reflect and do some soul searching and you can use this time to get to know yourself better. Take a trip or start a new hobby to keep you preoccupied.

3. Don’t beat yourself up

This applies especially when you are the one who has been dumped. Some ‘dumpees’ end up going into depression and their esteem takes a big nose dive. This is something to avoid after a break up. Let’s just say everything happens for a reason and maybe the break up is good for you. Stay positive.

4. Keep it civilised

As Kenyans would say, some break ups ‘ni kama ndrama, ni kama video’. It is advisable to keep it civilised after a break up, especially to guard your reputation. No drunk calls, messages on social media or bitter blog postings. Do not stalk your ex both offline and online.

5. Avoid the “just friends”trap

You might be cool and all but being friends after a break up is a tricky thing. I’m not saying it doesn’t work but if its not healthy then avoid it. Some people make it work but we’re not all the same.

6. Avoid negativity

As highlighted above some people end up beating themselves down after a break up. One way to avoid this is to avoid all forms of negativity. Don’t spend your time listening to sad songs.

7. Move on

Last but not least, the most important rule of all is to move on. Leave everything in the past and move on with your life.