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As I get to spend more and more time with feminist friends, I realize I have come to the point where I can confidently advise a brother who wants to date a feminist. This wisdom has been drawn from my interaction and experiences over the past few months.

1. Erase everything you know about feminists and have an open mind

You might have heard a lot about feminists. If not, you are a lucky guy since you have a blank slate to work from. For those of you who have heard about them, erase everything you know. Feminism is a movement and as you know with all movements people join for different reasons and are at different points. And that’s where the open mind comes in. You have to be open to new ideals, view points and insights. Feminism, in its most basic form, is essentially a movement to attain complete equality for women (though a feminist would probably describe it as a movement to attain equality for everyone). A lot of what you learn will have you question so many things about yourself.

2. Be ready to change

If you are to embark on a relationship with a feminist you will have to change a lot. This is tied to the point above. Patriarchy is entrenched in the little things we don’t give thought to. Like what we say or how we say it. This applies especially to what you have come to think is chivalry. It is an emancipating experience so don’t be too worried.

3. Sometimes silence is your friend

I have learned this the hard way. When you say something stupid, prejudicial and the likes please say your apologies and keep quit. This is important if you can’t back up your argument. To err is human and if you learn from your mistakes then you will be cool with your girl.

4. Stand up for your girl, both offline and online

Or rather stand up for women. There will be a lot of things said about feminists and this might even go personal if your girl is having an argument. When faced with this situation it is advisable to have your girl’s corner. I will assume by then you have followed the steps above and are well informed to give a valid and well thought argument in support of your girl.

These are just a few of the things i can share for now. As they say, learning is an unending process.