No the actual screwdriver isn’t a part of the recipe.
I spotted a post on here written by someone who I guess is a very food network writer who assumes that the kawaida person can afford to mix Guinness with champagne and port . I reject that data wholeheartedly. Chums for the Guinness is already a problem, now you want us to throw in champagne and port? Nope, half of us have no idea what port is or how to pronounce champagne (CHAM-PAG-NEH? Port like Mombasa? So booze from the coast? Och make it SIMPLE!). Here’s a list of ten cocktails with ingredients you can get from Mama Lucy’s mboga spot down the road for all those campus students, new home renters and that guy or girl who’s refused to move out of mum’s house. Basically everyone Njoki Chege has decided she won’t be or date (Honestly unless your ‘Mama Lucy’ is as cool as mine you’re looking at a short trip to Nakumatt)
The Highball
A bloody good classic
The Love Whiskey Fest has this campaign with Johnnie walker that tells you the best way to enjoy your Johnnie Red is with your favourite tangawizi soda (we know they’re talking about Stoney but whatever let’s pretend we don’t know that). well i call their bluff with this super simple cocktail that tastes like the Dionysus ,God of whiskey, poured it down your throat while stroking your arm (no homo).
Ingredients:
- 2 Tots of whiskey (60 ml)
- Ginger Ale
Recipe:
- Fill a highball glass with ice.
- Pour the whiskey into the glass.
- Top with ginger ale.
simpler than class three math 🙂
The Screwdriver
No the actual screwdriver isn’t a part of the recipe.
I feel that I must insist that a screwdriver made with cheap vodka (here’s looking at you Meakins fiends) tastes like utter crap mixed with juice. So don’t bother unless you’re willing to dish out for a good vodka. You don’t have to go out and buy a bottle of Absolut, a simple Smirnoff will do. Smirnoff NOT Blue Moon ktxbai.
Ingredients
- 2 tots vodka
- 5 tots orange juice
- Orange slice for garnish (I use this word a lot so just get used to it.)
Recipe
Mix it all up in a glass stir.
The Mojito
Something about this Cuban classic just makes it sound expensive as hell but its shockingly not. The Mojito is the best way to impress friends, chokoza your liver and have a great bloody time while just chilling. No you won’t turn into a suburban soccer dad/mum (for more information see the Kilimani Mums Facebook Page circa this year) by enjoying this chilled out cocktail created essentially for having an excuse for drinking in the morning.
Ingredients
- 2 teaspoons sugar
- 6-8 mint leaves
- Club soda (soda water for you philistines out there)
- 1 lime, halved
- 2 tots of white rum
- Mint sprig for garnish (remember we’re trying to impress friends eh)
Recipe
- Place the sugar, the mint leaves, and a little club soda into a highball glass.
- Muddle well to dissolve the sugar and to release the mint flavor.
- Squeeze the juice from both halves of the lime into the glass.
- Drop one half of the lime into the glass.
- Add the rum.
- Stir well.
- Fill the glass with ice cubes.
- Add the rest of the club soda.
- Garnish with the mint sprig.
It might seem like we’re going upwards in terms of level of difficulty but we really aren’t (We are)
The Three Amigos (Also Known as the WTF?)
This may or may not be the right image.
One of these uncouth buggers in the office keeps looking over my shoulder and has decided to toss in this mix of bad ideas and good taste called the three amigos.
Ingredients
- Ice cubes
- 2 bottles Mexican beer (or that nasty stuff called malt)
- 1 1/3 cups lime juice,sugar, water (Limeade which is like lemonade but with limes)
- Chilli sauce (not the bogus stuff you get from your local chips joint, this is very very optional)
Recipe
Fill a large pitcher with ice cubes. Stir in beer and limeade. Pour into salt-rimmed glasses. Add a dash of chili sauce as if ruining your liver wasn’t enough and you want to throw in ulcers.
Hot n Sweet Beer Punch
Yes this is another recipe from the aforementioned madman who makes cocktails with beer. The only other time I’ve heard of this was the Matatu to Town served at Onami (or rather was served), However there does seem to be a method to this person’s madness. Why he knows so many ways to mix beer with stuff is beyond me.
Ingredients
- Honey
- Coarse salt (I know you’ll use whatever chumvi you can get your hands on so whatever)
- 1/3 cup orange juice
- 4 teaspoons lime juice
- 4 dashes chili sauce (I recommend Tabasco but since we’re on a budget here get out that Zesta!)
- Ice
- Lager (Not Tusker which is way too good for this butchery, use Pilsner)
- Lime slice (for garnish)
Recipe
Dip the rim of a pint glass(500 ml) into a shallow dish of honey, then into a shallow dish of coarse salt. To the glass, add 1 teaspoon each honey and hot water and stir until honey is dissolved. Add orange juice, lime juice, and chili sauce and stir to combine. Fill glass with ice and top off with pale lager. Garnish with a lime slice. Seriously guys don’t forget the lemon slice, you just put chili into a beer make, that stuff look good juuust in case this fails.
There you go. Now go out and enjoy your weekend in style.
The very inebriated author accepts no responsibility for any incidences of food poisoning that may occur courtesy of that beer stuff. Blame Steve for he is a twit. I can feel you still looking over my shoulder Steve, stop!