Relationships don’t always last. One minute you’re a happy couple, the next you’re picking up the pieces of your broken heart and trying to move on. It’s never easy going through a breakup. The reason for the breakup makes your reaction to it vary. If it was because of cheating you will be broken up for a longer period than you would if you simply drifted apart.
Whatever the reason for the breakup, we all go through a certain stage. Understanding this process may help you adjust to the breakup and accept the emotional turmoil.
There are 5 stages that we go through.
After a break up, we all imagine that the other person is a wreck without you. You can’t picture them being happy and bouncing back faster than you. You sit and fantasize about how they will wake up and realize their life is better with you in it and come back to you. Denial is what it is
Then comes Anger. This is after you’ve waited for a while and nothing has happened. You can’t even imagine that they don’t miss you. Not even a little bit. Most times you’ll end up sending an angry text or calling them and hurling all the insults you know at them. You don’t really care about the reason you broke up anymore anger is all that consumes you. If the idea that they have moved on pops into your head, your anger increases.
You become a crazy ex and stalk their Facebook and Twitter pages to see what they are up to. When you see new photos and they look happy, you feel like punching a wall. All you want is for them to come back to you so you can have the option of saying NO. How dare they be happy when you’re suffering?
The Bargaining soon starts after this. You tell yourself that maybe you are better off without them. You remember all those things they did that annoyed you and wish whoever is with them luck. You list the pros and cons of the relationship and are happy to discover the cons outweigh the pros and your heart is at peace for a few moments.
Then comes the moment when you realize everyone around you is happy and in a relationship. Everywhere you turn, you see a happy couple, looking happy in love and holding hands. You miss having that to yourself. You want someone to look at you that way, to laugh at all your silly jokes. You really don’t want to hear the “you’ll find someone better in time†speech. Everything about the coupling around you annoys you and sucks the life out of you. You just want to be left alone to curl up and sleep for as long as humanly possible. This is the Depression stage.
After wallowing in self-pity for a while you let your heart come round. It is called Acceptance. You slowly forget about your breakup and take up new interests. Your day is no longer full of questions and thoughts about what went wrong. If you happen to think of them, you don’t miss them. You can think of the happy times and even smile a little. You’re finally accepting that you will make new memories with someone else. Seeing your ex with a new love no longer turns on the crazy in you. You simply look at them and turn the other way.
You no longer wish death upon the happy couples around you. You even wish your ex will be happy with their new love. You’ve survived the post breakup stage. Let no one lie to you that only women go through these stages. Men do, with a little less tears involved of course.