Love is that thing that makes everything dull and full of gloom suddenly beautiful and bearable. ‘Rose colored glasses’ as my friend once put it.
Today, I talk about summer and winter bunnies and the rampant rush of excitement they spread throughout the city round the months of July and December! More to this is the sparkly relationships that boom during these periods.
Maybe I should begin by describing what a Bunny is.
We all know Hugh Hefner – founder and Chief Creative Officer of the Playboy Enterprises. In the 1960’s he opened a club, ‘The Playboy Club’ who’s main attraction was its waitresses who served customers in the infamous playboy bunny suit that consisted of a corset body suit, a bow tie, cuffs, a bunny tail, and bunny ears. The waitresses were tagged the ‘Playboy Bunnies’.
In Kenya, come July and December, there is a huge influx of citizens who come back home from the Diaspora to visit their loved ones. The girls who come back dress to kill when they go out clubbing, resembling the playboy bunnies. And as a result, this group with their fancy clothes, fake accents, accidental show and use of the US dollar at the bar and shallow political views of our beloved motherland (no pun) became dubbed, Summer/Winter Bunnies.
As the dollars and glitz roll in, so does the love! Bunny relationships are the BEST. Yes. Here’s a little insight into the whole affair.
You see, I know a girl (yeah, it’s always your friend right) who knows a girl who met the man of her dreams. He was a winter bunny. It was a simple meet and greet how they met but the passion that unfolded in the weeks to follow was out of this world. He took her on trips to the Masai Mara and Mombasa, he bought her a golden necklace, he held her hand when they walked, kissed her in public as a show of his love, he even said that he had never felt that way about woman! And what made it even more perfect was that they never fought, not even once. They were that happy. And that really, is what should have been the red flag.
See, when the winter bunnies come over, all they want to do is have fun! If they get a girl to do it with, why the hell not! The reason the success rate of such relationships is so high is because the honey moon phase doesn’t stop; you’re on euphoria high the entire time. You also don’t get any time to fight… Every potential argument becomes replaced with “Baby, please let’s not argue, let’s spend this time happyâ€. The first time you give it to the guy, and you know what it is you’re giving girl, his punch line is “Baby please, it’s not too soon. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I need to remember how it feels to be with youâ€. And then you do the most stupid thing in the world, you fall in love.
Suddenly, January sneaks up on you. Kids are back to school, the city gets congested again and we are all on ‘chase paper’ momentum. He says “I can’t extend my ticket baby, I just bought a house in Country X and I have to go back and work for the mortgage…we had fun though right?†Just as reality starts to set in on your perfect little world and you hate that country he’s leaving you for so much, he’s on the next flight to wherever. You imagine then, that he surely must have been your soul mate even when you never believed in soul mates because it was just so perfect. WRONG! Sex on X is always the best; and it’s the same ‘nini’. Just like love with a bunny.
Conclusion – this festive season, don’t date a winter bunny. Let him spend on yah!
Yeah I said it!
Peace & Love
Julia Love
PS: I hate Country X.