Money can’t buy me love? How do they know it can’t? Nobody knows the answer to that!
My cousin once asked me, “would you rather be the girl laughing at the back of the bicycle or the girl crying at the back of a Mercedes?†I have never answered that question.
Let me throw it back at you. Have you ever interacted with a genuinely happy person living in poverty? A genuinely happy person swimming in riches? Any genuinely happy person?
I’m not talking about short bursts of happiness. I’m talking “dang! I wish I was her, she’s always so happyâ€. Okay, if yes, I hear you…so, where does she live? What does she drive? Where does she dine? I’m not a material girl, hell, that’s a lie i’m not entirely a material girl, but I am accustomed to clean sheets and white toilet paper. Lord knows I can’t afford (too many) apple martinis at Onami every weekend but I have a dream M.Luther!
All this drives me to what I want to express this cozy drizzly evening.
Is it possible for you, as a comfortably living lady, to happily date a man of lower social status than yourself?
Steve Harvey couldn’t have said it better in his book “Act like lady think like a Manâ€, a man who is serious about a woman will Profess, Protect and Provide.
Provide.
When I was 10, I had no understanding of love. I thought it was appalling. When I was 14, thanks to all those trashy romance novels I read, I had a rooted belief that you could only truly Love one person. When I was 19 I fell in love. I knew, saw or thought of no other man other than my man. He surely was The One.
When I turned 22, the realisation that love was a combination of misery and bliss was a sad one.
At this same age, the perfect man walked into my life. Well, I was tipsy and newly single from my first love and so I dared to make the first move at the club (stupid!). He was everything my first love was not; kind, considerate, sensitive, compassionate, open minded, … you get the sappy description. As we approached our third month anniversary, I could throw up paying bills on our nights out. It was absolutely repulsive that I had to reach for my purse to pay for our way through drinks, meals and taxis. Not that he didn’t ever pay, but I paid 89% of the time. And there I was in all other aspects of our relationship in love with this man.
After that failure, I created standards. Because you see, it is within my genetic coding to yearn for a man who naturally reaches for the bill before I can put my hand over his and say “I got it this time babyâ€.
And so, as I walk through this city to my office blushing at the courteous G4S guy with the perfect build, square jaw, handsome face and strong arms, or the chatty kange with sexy eyes and the most hilarious sense of humor, or the musky smelling gym instructor who I know in other circumstances would be a perfect fit into my life, I know I can never truly be happy with a man who is not at the same level as I am financially.
This isn’t New York honey, where my best friend Miranda, a high end Manhattan residing lawyer is happily dating a bartender who lives in Brooklyn… Bartenders here cannot live the same way as a bartender in NYC!
To answer the question I asked at the beginning of this article… I want to laugh at the back of the bicycle on my way to a romantic picnic and then dropped home in the Mercedes.
I want real love and real diamonds!
Yeah, I said it.
Peace & Love
Julia Love