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Samo Bryton and The Almighty is Queen Elizabeth with a thong on.
Not Samo

Not Samo Bryton

We had a few questions for him. This is what he had to say:
1. What was your first phone?

The Me-phone. It was the earlier version of the i-phone! Steve Jobs called it the Anti-social phone,you had to call yourself at least 5 times a day.

2. What do you prefer? Facebook or Twitter? Why?

None. It’s similar to the choice between kissing a porcupines buttocks and a Gorilla’s hairy balls. Pick one.

3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years

Dead. Though thanks to Google I’m forever Immortal. Crap!

4. Any question for us? We’ll publish our answer as well

Two questions:
1) Is Wamathai any taller? Taller than a gas tank? The 2500 kshs one or the 1500 kshs one? Be specific.

Errmmm..let’s just say he’s tall enough

2) I’m sure there are orang utangs in the zoo with more character than me, why would you want to interview me?

We already interviewed the oran utangs so why not you? 😀

5. What would you do if you were president for a day?

Jump off KICC in red black and green Kenyan flag underwear only, screaming ” set the Cheetahs on the loose, they have taken Cleopatra!”

6. What’s your favourite book& movie?

Book? Kiswahili kitukuzwe and any Malkiat Singh books. (Aleya Kassam, insert cool books here.)

Movies? Will they make a movie of Kiswahili kitukuzwe? That would just be so awesome! If they never do, I hope from the bottom of my heart Alfred Mutua reboots Batman starring Abu Sense and Nick Mtumba (as Catwoman). I can see it now…. Happiness!

7. Who/What inspired you to do what you do now?

Whoever it is isn’t born yet. Sorry Hova!

8. If you were to change jobs, what profession would you get into? Why?

I’d be a Singer.

My imaginary friends tell me I’m incredible when I sing ” my heart will go on” in the shower. I’m considering doing a tour from shower to shower. Beware!

Wait, wait, wait… I would be a professional mechanical bull. A life of being spanked and rode professionally.

9. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

But I do have a Superpower! I think I’m God and the sun shines through the hole in my butt. I’m a Poet remember.

10. If you were deserted on an abandoned island what 5 things would you want to have?
  • Monkey
  • Chicken, Horse
  • Comb
  • A mirage.
11. If you were a car, what car would you like to be? Why?

Danger Mouse’s car. It drives up walls. Who wouldn’t want to be a spider for a day? Did I just say that?danger_mouse_car_by_daztibbles-d4bgszm

12. If you could be in any other band in the world, which one would you
like to be in? Why?

I’m in a band?Could I be in a mariachi band with guns in the guitars? Please God avail hot Spanish women as well!Mariachi

13. What’s the weirdest comment someone has ever made about your poetry?
What’s your comment on it.

“Oh, Samo, you are so very awesome!! Do you do any other tricks? ”

We played Hide and seek after. (tongue in cheek)

14. Share something interesting about yourself with our readers.

You are telling me I haven’t been interesting? What does a girl have to do to get laid around here!!!! Oh Shucks! Audrey, the closet doors are open!