Q&A Mondays – @Buggz79

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Buggz has the heart of a 5 year old and the brain of a genius. Both are in Jars next to his spice rack.

He describes himself as a dynamic figure, known for inflicting mass extinction events on Flies, Quitoes and the Black backed whistling roaches.

He is a veteran in love, an expert in thumb wresting and a wanted man by a financial institution of ill repute.

We had some questions for him and this is what he had to say:-

1. What was your First phone?

A second hand Nokia 3310 (legitimately sourced.) Bought from an extremely hot chic who was upgrading to the 1st generation of colored screen nokia’s with polyphonic tones.

2. What do you prefer? Facebook or Twitter?

Probably twitter. I mean, I sold chickens. Lots of em…to people I’d never met in real life who made orders on the strength that I ‘appeared’ to be legit. Then again, there were those attacking my community by claiming the chickens were from a hijacked Kenchic van….

3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

As the lead singer of a rock band called ‘Download Complete’. Our chart topping single will be a collection of those dinging noises indicating acts of intellectual piracy are complete.

Oh…you mean seriously?

Fine then. As the proud owner of several multi-storey apartment blocks built out of old shipping containers. Seriously.

4. Any questions for us?

Sure! I’ve never quite understood why they sell hotdog buns in packs of 8 while hotdog packs are sold in packs of 10? Answer me that.

  • You cook the Hotdogs, not the buns, any good cook samples his/her cooking, hence the extra weiners 🙂

5. What would you do if you were president for a day?

Decree that paintball guns can be used freely on overlapping drivers and people displaying gross amounts of stupidity. I suspect that decree will put me at the top of the international paintball hit list.

6. Favorite book and movie

The Lord of the rings trilogy is hard to beat especially the extended version of all three films. Return of the King was the best of the lot by a slim margin…mainly because I’m a sucker for a happy ending.

On the book front, pretty much anything written by Terry Pratchett has my vote. My current favorite is Good Omens, a book about the apocalypse with an angle that’s quite fresh.

7. Who/What inspired you to do what you do now?

I got a coded message that said…write this stuff or midgets with sharpened pliers will apply said tools to delicate extremities. You lot sure know how to motivate folk. Please call off your minions now. The dogs are howling in soprano.

8. If you were to change jobs, what profession would you get into and why?

Easily done. A scientist. No wait, make that a MAD Scientist. Have you seen the cool kit those nutcases seem to get effortlessly? Plus I’d probably inspire a whole bunch of young uns to don masks and undies over their tights to come stop me. I’d be starting our own superhero industry.

9. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

Teleportation. Not just within earth but on all worlds. Kind of like that blue dude in watchmen. And that thing where he split into multiple people each was doing a different task? That would be cool too.

10. If deserted on an abandoned island, what 5 things would I want to have?

  • A solar powered eBook reader with a few thousand books from all my favorite authors and a couple from those I don’t know. We all like some surprises.
  • Wifey and a couple of mutts,
  • A really powerful telescope so I can check out the night sky in all its glory
  • 5 industrial sized drums of sun block lotion.

11. If I was a car, what car would I be and why?

Definitely the Carver One.

Damn thing looks like its straight out of batman. No-one is quite sure whether it’s a car or a motorbike. And in handling, the closest thing to it in handling is a jet fighter. It’s an absolutely brilliant piece of kit. Hard to define, nothing quite like it and exceedingly rare. Yep.

12. If you could be in any band in the world, which one would it be? And why?

Probably the Bloodhound Gang for that epic single: Vagina. Second option would be any band Weird Al Yankovich is in. He’s made a career by making spoofs of pretty much every hit track out there. A man after my own heart.

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