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Waga Odongo is a Student and a columnist for DN2 on Monday. We had a few questions for him and this is what he had to say.

1. What was your first phone?

My first phone was an Alcatel. I forget the exact model; it was a stew of consonants with a few token numbers. It was unbelievably short and stumpy- while every other phone around that time was larger. It looked like the sort of gadget an ersatz third rate James Bond circa 2003 would use. It was unbelievably dense so he could kill the bad guys by using it like a brick and bashing them over the head.

2. What do you prefer? Facebook or Twitter? Why?

I dislike both. Facebook is a holding pen for advertisers with Potential customers already stratified according to age, nationality, likes and beliefs. If world war 3 were to break out today and Neo-Nazis wanted to round up all Jews/blacks/gays they would use facebook no need to demand census lists. Twitter is the greatest work shirking scheme ever invented my pal Frank calls it a ‘Social-not-working’ site.

I once wrote about twitter in my column The wag- you can read it online on nations website- that “ twitter is capable of a lot or rather I have been made to understand that its scope and application is near limitless, yet it is used to peddle the most mundane doggerel. It is capable of so much more than it is actually used for- it is a severely underemployed and abused medium that still insists on being taken seriously.” I still think those words hold true.

I prefer Facebook though, but it’s like being asked to choose between Cinderella’s ugly step sisters.

 

3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Five years? Degree in hand, a Job as an actuary and generally to become Kenya’s premier Acid penned writing aristocrat, Writing two columns a week preferably in The Daily Nation.

4. Any question for us? We’ll publish our answer as well

Wamathai Why are there 13 questions and do I get 7 years of bad-luck after answering them? I thought we put that poetry beef behind us?

  • Don’t you have to break a mirror to get 7 years bad luck?

5. What would you do if you were president for a day?

President for a day? Invade Uganda they have lots of oil and wouldn’t know what to do with all of it.

6. What’s your favorite book& movie?

Books. Just read Christopher Hitchens memoir Hitch -22 and it is very good. I think he is the greatest journalist of our age. Movie: Matrix. It introduced the concept of bullet time to my very young fecund mind. I have never quite recovered from seeing Neo dodge a fusillade of bullets in slow mo.

7. Who/What inspired you to do what you do now?

Inspiration? Lots of quarters. I admire Clay Muganda’s Clay Court, Philip Ochiengs article the Fifth columnist, ( which is a brilliant play of words I must say it’s both the fifth column on the Sunday Nations main commentary pages and is also fifth columnist in nature) and always used to read Tony Mochama’s “Scene At” although I have fallen of that wagon of late.

 

8. If you were to change jobs, what profession would you get into? Why?

I don’t yet consider writing a job. So I would write more. I would love to write plays and all manner of scripts.

9. If you had a superpower, what would it be?

Superpower? The ability to make Manchester United lose at will. Which they would do every weekend except when they are playing Arsenal or Liverpool.

10. If you were deserted on an abandoned island what 5 things would you
want to have?

I would carry along my friend Janet for company, a TV with satellite connection to Al Jazeera, An infinite amount of Alvaro, the Guardian and the Nation delivered everyday and a gun so that I can shoot stuff and Janet when I get tired of her asking me when we are going home as I’m reading the paper.

11. If you were a car, what car would you like to be? Why?

A Maserati it is just the right mix of fun and officiousness. It is Sort of like wearing sexy Lingerie under a power suit.

12. If you could be in any band in the world, which one would you like to be
in? Why?

Any band? I listen mostly to rap to be honest. But it would be Jamnazi, the dudes who sang ‘Am not sober’ so that I could listen to it ever so often. Or I would join MOG so that I could start internal wrangles that would dissolve the band because I hate their voices and music.

13. Share something interesting about yourself with our readers.

I am a leader of men and a seducer of women. ( I’m not doing much of either at the moment but everyone needs a mission statement)