I am getting to that point where Ngong road has become so bad, thoughts about moving are festering in my mind. I use the word festering because honestly, waking up at 5am feels like an infection. The thought that when Ngong road actually starts being expanded ati I will wake up earlier than 5am makes me feel sick.
So I found myself weighing the pros and cons of living in Bul-bul, Ngong, Kajiado County. I am always told to be optimistic so today I will only look at the pros of where I live.
1. Because I live in a different county than where I work, my colleagues and friends CONSTANTLY make fun of my commute
Itâ€™s hilarious when people come up with jokes about it and think they are being so fresh and creative. I have probably heard every long commute joke three times each. Just about the only people who tell fresh Ngong commute jokes are two colleagues of mine who have degrees in trolling people. The rest not so much. But I tell myself I am spreading happiness to those around me. They have a release point and that is me. I am a santa claus of happiness. That is a pro right?
2. I am always beyond the radius of free delivery or any delivery whatsoever for fast food places like Galitos (and the whole DialADelivery franchise) and Debonairs.
Maybe they need permits to courier food across counties, I donâ€™t know. Cravings are a bad thing I tell you. You can spend 90% of the only money you have just because of a craving. But you see if am already home, I know no-one does free deliveries to Ngong which stomps out my craving like Big Foot on an ant. This is turn, saves me money. Am going to pretend to actually feel the effect of the this money-saving technique. So there, if you spend too much money on delivered food? Just move to Ngong. You will become wealthy. Also the picture below explains A LOT.
3. I live in the wealthiest county.
Letâ€™s ignore the fact that I am a bottom feeder and donâ€™t even know what â€˜wealthâ€™ really looks like. Pride is everything. I LIVE in the wealthiest county, EH HEH? Whatâ€™s your county known for?
4. Living in Ngong and working in Nairobi means you either get to work between 6:30 and 7 am OR TEN A.M due to aforementioned traffic.
There is no in between. The result is that I get to the office between 6:30am and 7am. I am the earliest employee EVERYDAY. That deserves a raise right? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA okay maybe just a badge? LOOOOOOL? Recognition? PFFFFT. Right then. I will go with just getting the first mandazis at Uchumi every morning. That has got to be a pro right?
5. In the evening I usually get home between 6pm and 6:30pm
Notice this is a little over 12 hours after I leave the house in the morning. The result is that by 7pm I can BARELY keep my eyes open. I consider it some sort of achievement if I make it to 9pm without dozing off at all. So I sleep early. and skip dinner 90% of the time. Those are two pros. I dont have insomnia, I dont even know what that is. Probably the name of a galaxy. Also due to the skipped dinners Iâ€™ve lost alot of weight. Letâ€™s ignore for a minute the fact that I am the ONLY girl I know who has a crazy high metabolism, does NOT need to lose weight and whose life goal has always been to gain and keep some weight. So if you have insomnia or a weight problem? NO PROBLEM! MOVE TO NGONG.
6. The weather is mostly different between home and the work place
Itâ€™ll be raining at the work place and sunny with clear skies at home. The result, is you have to dress for both extremes and always have an umbrella. I have resorted to having one umbrella at the office and another at home at all times. Advantage? I never get caught out by the rain WITHOUT an umbrella.
This is a serious problem in the urban youth of Nairobi. Going out on a weekday and spending all your money and sleeping late. This does not encourage productivity at work. Well guess what? I donâ€™t have that problem.I am able to prioritize my derailment very easily. Is that person worth getting on a matatu, paying 80 bob, getting stuck in traffic for over an hour and getting back home on a weekday past 10pm? If I do I must love you somewhat. Either that of youâ€™re buying me dinner. And not ati a saucer of fries! DINNER. NISHIBE NA NIBEBE. For my non-swahili speaking readers, â€œEnough to get full and take away as wellâ€ If peer pressure was sent out to be carried out by pressure gnomes, the one posted to Ngong would be the most frustrated gnome.
8. In general, people donâ€™t just POP IN to visit
The advantage is obvious. My fridge is rarely raided by outsiders. And costs arising from hospitality and catering in my house are pretty low. Lets ignore the fact that am an extreme extrovert for a minute. So you have too many guests all the time? Move to Ngong. Conversely I think people who DO pop in have a problem. Like a chronic case of LoveMeosis or NoLifesia.
Just about everything around here teaches you patience. Being charged 80 bob. Sitting next to smelly people or crying babies for over an hour. Stuffy buses or sub zero buses. Cramped knees and legs which you can do nothing about till u get off the bus. Hunger pangs or sleep ambushes which you can also do nothing about till u get off. You learn patience on the Ngong commute pretty fast. Thatâ€™s got to be a pro.
10. Last but not least
I get to listen to about two or three albums on my mp4 depending on the traffic on one bus ride. Whenâ€™s the last time YOU listened to a whole album without interruption? Thatâ€™s what I thought. Stew on that for abit.
So yes this is why it is absolutely the BEST thing to live in Ngong.