1.Unsolicited advice from strangers and other ‘experienced persons’
From the woman who sells you vegetables, your relatives to your colleagues (during tea and bathroom breaks), the security guy, and the male and female passengers in matatu- everybody would like to prove the saying: “It takes a village to raise a child†right. Even the random drunkard you meet in the streets will have something to say (or stare at) .
The advice, of course, ranges from the practical and helpful to the utterly ridiculous;
Here are a few examples;
Do not eat bananas; your baby will be as big as a house
If your face breaks out, it means you are having a boy
Pregnant women are not supposed to sit at the front in a matatu
Drink two cold Guinness every day your child will be very light skinned and smooth
2. Rude stares and comments from men with pregnant women fetishes
Pregnant women go through it all- from men staring at your endowed chest, to men who rudely comment;
‘I the one who made her pregnant’- when a pregnant woman jumps a queue,
Or the ones who say;
‘I wish I was the one who made you pregnant’
3. Kindness from unlikely sources
From the tout ( not usually famous for their courtesy) who will lead you to the front of the bus queue to the simple man who will stand from his seat at the vantage pregnant spot( near the front, next to a window) without being requested to, you are bound to receive kindness from even more unlikely sources.
If driving, the policeman will be kind and courteous, even going ahead to ask you:
“When are you due?”
To which you will reply: “Next month”
Then he will say: “Pole kwa kazi, you are almost there” and wave you off with a smile on his face.
4. Stomach area-stares from male colleagues
Your younger male colleagues will probably notice your swollen tummy on the 7th month or so and start with a long stare at your stomach, then say something like;
“Don’t tell me you are expectant, imagine I never noticed?” in an unbelieving stare.
You will smile kindly and reassure them that he is “Not the only one”
Or you will meet the ones that ask you to “name your kid after me”
5. Farting spells on the most inappropriate occasions
It might be while you are queuing up for lunch, or for a matatu, or when you are at your boss’ desk. Farting will find you whatever the occasion, wherever you hide. During this time, farting will not respect gender or ranking. Best to ignore such incidents. You could also consider joining in squishing your face and silently looking around for the culprit.