Archer Mishale needs no introduction. Since 2006 he has made us laugh, he has made us cry and he has given us a look at life from the most interesting perspective imaginable.
We had a few questions for him and this is what he had to say:
1. What was your first phone?
A blue Ericsson T1018 that was a hand me down from my mum. That thing was so messed up that I had to slap the keypad hard before it could work! But that was back in 2000 and I was the first of my mates to have a mobile phone so it was pretty cool. Safaricom hadn’t even introduced SMS yet!
2. What do you prefer? Facebook or Twitter? Why?
Twitter, without a doubt. The level of intellectual interaction is far higher than it could ever be on Facebook. I’ve met lots of great tweeps who have improved the quality of my life in several ways. It’s a great tool for networking and doing business, and it’s currently the fastest way to get breaking news in 140 characters. The possibilities on Twitter are endless! I only use Facebook to stay in touch with my pals all over the world.
3. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I see myself heading a successful business venture. I have lots of ideas right now, and it’s only a matter of time until I put them into action.
4. Any question for us? We’ll publish our answer as well
If you crossed a Bulldog with a Shitzu, which Kenyan politician would you get?
We think the real question is which one wouldn’t you get?
5. What would you do if you were president for a day?
I would invite representatives from all 210 constituencies and special interest groups to State House to present their problems to me directly. Using that information, I would put all MPs, ministries and parastatals to task to provide those services or face execution by firing squad. I’d slash MPs salaries & allowances to a third, increase teachers and police salaries. I’d take measures to introduce accountability in government.
On the fun side, I’d take a drive in the presidential limo, complete with motorbikes & chase cars. Because I can! (Impunity, I know but that becomes your problem, not mine) I’d fly to shagz and back in the Presidential jet. Just for the fun of it. Then in the evening, I would throw a grand bash at State House and invite all my pals. Then I’d chips funga a hot chic. Think about it, when was the last time anyone got laid at State House?
6. Whats your favourite book & movie?
My favourite book is the 48 Laws of Power. It has valuable lessons that can be applied in every sphere of life. If I were to be locked up in prison for the rest of my life (God forbid) and I had the choice of only two books, I’d say the 48 Laws of Power comes second only to the Bible.
7. Who/What inspired you to do what you do now?
I’ve always loved writing for as long as I can remember, so when I discovered blogging in 2006, it was only natural that I’d start a blog. I intend to take up writing full time at some point in my life, perhaps after I retire. Maybe write a series of novels, one each year.
8. If you were to change jobs, what profession would you get into?
I’d want to be a diplomat or a pilot, coz I’d get to travel the world and experience different cultures and sights. That also provides a lot of material for photography and writing. If not that, I’d love to be a BBC Top Gear host, coz that’s undoubtedly the coolest job in the world!
9.If you had a superpower, what would it be?
Teleportation combined with time travel. With all the knowledge of today’s events, think about how cool it would be to go back into time and change things. Imagine if you could cockblock Hitler’s parents, save Tom Mboya & Robert Ouko, poison the idiot who built my laptop. The world would be a better place.
10. If you were deserted on an abandoned island what 5 things would you want to have?
A solar powered laptop with internet connection. Don’t ask me how.
An endless supply of whisky & Coke.
A Swiss Army knife.
A jogoo and a hen. For eggs and chicken and an alarm clock.
A beautiful woman.
11. If you were a car, what car would you like to be?
A 1965 Shelby AC Cobra in black with silver double racing stripes.
Unique. Sexy. Powerful. Desirable. Expensive.
12. If you could be in any band in the world, which one would you like to be