Is the Institution of marriage facing its demise?

Someone asked me where I see myself in five years. I have never liked this question and I always have an answer ready. It’s the same thing, running my own media house, living in a great house with my dream car; an Audi A8 is what I want at the moment but that could change with time. So I shot off this answer hoping they would drop the issue. But they didn’t. Instead they asked me “and what about marriage?”

I didn’t know how to respond. Weeks later, I still don’t know what to say. I’ve never been one of those girls who dreamed of fairytale weddings. The thought of having a whole day where I’m the center of attention makes me nervous. The idea of being with one person till I die is also not appealing.

Being a best-maid or a bridesmaid is also not my cup of tea. I’m not saying I’ve never thought of marriage, I have but only in the sense that I want my kids to be born into a married home. I know people can raise kids without having a ring on, but it makes everything easier when you’re married to get kids. I don’t see myself getting kids anytime in the next five years, at least not a planned pregnancy. So that rules out marriage for me in that timeline, or anywhere in the next ten years.

But this question has disturbed me and made me think about the sanctity of marriage. I don’t know many people who look forward to that day. I might not know many people in this world, but the fact that the ones I know are dead set against it makes me wonder if marriage is slowly facing its demise.

I know a few people who have crossed that 20 year marriage milestone. I also know many who crossed that threshold and ended up divorcing a few years later. Divorce has become rampant in our society. If you listen to most married people, especially the older generation, things are not so good in marriage. Most have been separated for years. Once in a while they give the marriage another shot but it fails. Marriage is supposed to last forever. But then again forever is just one of Chris Brown’s songs… nothing lasts forever.

Many young people see marriage as a means to an end. We rush into marriage for unwarranted and sometimes really ridiculous reasons. Maybe you think it’s the natural course a relationship should take. Sometimes its pressure from everything and everyone around you. There’s a lot of entrapment going on. I think children should be raise in a married home, that’s how I was brought up to think. But using the child to get someone who really does not want to spend their life with you is hurting your child.

Most of us just want to have fun. We don’t see the “Always and Forever” kind of life with each other. Commitment phobia also means we run from anyone who even hints at marriage. Many young people would gladly live with each other without getting married. The fact that new laws say you can be called someone’s wife after 6months means we walk out before time runs out.

You will find someone getting married every weekend, but during the week, double the number is getting divorced. Sometimes it’s messy and dirty laundry is aired for everyone to see. A large number of the divorces are due to infidelity. We get married but won’t respect that relationship and have one partner.

So I think about that question “what about marriage?” and I wonder, is the institute of marriage facing its demise? I don’t know about you, but I think it is.