I saw something the other day that was interesting if not a little bit disturbing. My neighbor was hitting his 12 year old daughter. When I say hitting I mean he was reining blows on her like he was in an MMA match. He literally had to be pulled off her. I still don’t know what she had done wrong but I’m sure with time I’ll know. I have two issues with this; first why was he disciplining his child in front of the whole compound. Secondly what wrong could she have done to deserve being hit that way? I’m sure she had bruises the next day.
I have one question, ‘why are people, mostly kids punished so brutally?’ My guess is that they did something one party considers to be wrong and it needs to be corrected. I can’t help but wonder the extremes they go to achieve this. When you watch news you see stories of children burnt or beaten to death. Is there no gentler way to instill discipline in them?
In my mind, there are three kinds of parents in our world today. Those who go physical, those who sit and complain about their child’s actions and those who will send their children to their room.
Beating your child can work or not. It all depends on how, when and where it happens. In the case of my neighbor I’m pretty sure it didn’t work. I can see the girl is angry and is looking to get into more trouble to rebel. In today’s world you can go overboard with the physical beatings. Let’s say you’re angry or stressed and your child did something wrong. Your beating turns into a way to release all that tension. Your child ends up paying for whatever issues you have. That’s how parents end up beating their children to death. It’s never a good idea to beat your child in public. No matter what they did, keep the discipline private. Humiliating them in public only makes them resent you and more likely to repeat their mistake to get back at you.
Parents who sit and complain about their child’s deed are failing in the discipline department. I don’t see how this is a form of punishment but it is a common practice among many parents. All the complaining makes no difference to your child. You can complain all day long but if the child is not aware they did something wrong, they will probably repeat it. If you never correct them, they will think they can get away with anything. This actually makes the child behave worse than they did before.
The mode of punishment that I like most and would probably encourage is the one where you’re sent to your room or lectured and told to reflect on what you did wrong. Of course this only works for minor issue. Some mistakes really can’t be reflected on and will require a beating. Think of it this way if you caught your child drinking sending them to their room really isn’t a punishment. You would be better off making them wash the car and clean the house with their hangover. Sending them to the room isn’t the end of the punishment; you have to a talk about their mistake later so they can know not to repeat it.
I am not a parent so I can’t really offer concrete proof about what mode of punishment works best. I can only offer my view based on what I have experienced growing up. There is no rule book or formula on punishment. Don’t discipline your child based on someone else’s mode. You need to figure out what works best for you and your child. Only thing you need to remember is that the child’s well being is what matters most when instilling discipline.